MoneyMindedMoms: Persuade Me – Teaching Kids to Negotiate

We were near the cashier, ready to checkout.

My young son said, “I want a candy bar?”
I said, “No, not today.”
“But Mom, I NEED one.”
“Not today.”
“But I NEED one.”
“Not today..”
“But why?”
“Because I’m the meanest mom in the world.”
“No, you’re not!!”
‘Yes, I am.
“No way.”

The lady checking out our purchases couldn’t help but give me a smile at how I’d won the day. She and I both knew that it’s not that often parents get to prevail that easily.

Every parent knows that children can be relentless at arguing their case, but arguing doesn’t always work. It’s confrontational. And children rarely take the first “no.”

Those situations can be stressful for us and our kids and arguing a losing case isn’t a great life skill.

What would happen if you respond in a new way?

Negotiation is a skill that will serve our children in business and in life. The best negotiators are skilled at persuasion. They know how to get what they want or need by showing someone else how that someone else will benefit if he or she does what the negotiator wants. A child who learns how to persuade rather than demand, or whine, learns a skill that lasts a lifetime.

The next time your child wants something, simply say, “Persuade me. Tell me how it could work for me to do what you want.” Then listen and negotiate. You might find that you come to a great deal for both of you!